Surviving the Holidays Solo: A Sarcastic Self-Care Guide
"Surviving the holidays solo isn’t about pretending to be okay—it’s about showing up for yourself, even when things feel messy."
-Elizabeth Boudreau-Boyer, Therapist
Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when Hallmark movies convince us everyone else is frolicking through snow-covered streets, hand-in-hand with their soulmate, surrounded by perfect children dressed in matching pajamas. Meanwhile, you’re over here, staring at an empty calendar and contemplating whether it’s acceptable to eat an entire cheese ball for dinner (spoiler: it is).
Being single, newly divorced, or separated—especially if you’re without your kids—during the holidays can feel like an emotional dumpster fire. But here’s the truth: surviving (and even thriving) during this season isn’t just possible—it’s necessary. So let’s talk about how to prioritize your mental health, and make it through this “magical” season intact.
1. Embrace All Of Your Emotions
It’s okay to admit that this season sucks a little—or a lot. Everyone else might be drowning in “festive cheer,” but you’re battling existential questions like, Why am I pretending to be excited about decorating a tree when it’s just me and my cat judging my efforts? (For the record, I don’t have a cat.) It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Don’t gaslight yourself into pretending you’re fine when you’re not. Accept where you are, even if that means curled up on the couch binge-watching Outlander on Netflix.
Pro Tip: Watch something cathartic, like Fried Green Tomatoes (because who doesn’t love a little Southern charm mixed with unexpected romance and unforgettable friendship?). Or Bad Moms Christmas (because sometimes you just need to watch a group of moms go off the rails and remind yourself that you’re doing just fine).
2. Prioritize Real Self-Care
Forget the Instagram version of self-care with perfect bubble baths and candles.
Let’s get real:
Get Up and Move Your Body: Whether it’s a spontaneous dance party in your kitchen or a brisk walk around the block, movement works like magic for boosting your mood. Drop by my favorite local yoga studio in McKinney, Texas—Yoga Six—for a class that’ll leave you feeling calm, centered, and ready to take on whatever comes next. You might meet some cool yogi chics while you are there.
Eat What Feels Good: Give yourself permission to enjoy what you’re craving, whether it’s kale or an entire tube of cookie dough. Just be sure to do bullet point #1.
Set Boundaries: Politely decline gatherings that feel more stressful than joyful. Need a script? “I can’t make it this year, but I’d love to catch up in January.”
3. Rewrite the Rules
Who says the holidays have to look a certain way? Create new traditions that bring YOU joy:
Host a Friendsmas: Gather your ride-or-die crew for a low-key, judgment-free celebration. And don’t forget to let your friends know you might be flying solo this year. You’ve got to speak up—people are super self-absorbed and busy during the holidays, so if you want company, it’s on you to make it happen! If you live in North Texas, check out The Girlfriends Club on Facebook—they host all kinds of gatherings and outings, so you can surround yourself with a supportive group of amazing women. It’s a great way to make new connections and keep the holiday vibes positive!
Take a Solo Adventure: Imagine sipping coffee at a cozy Airbnb or margaritas on the beach, with no one to answer to but yourself. It’s the perfect reminder that you can have your own fun without needing anyone else to make it happen.
Stay Off The Dating Sites: Nothing says “holiday wonder” quite like receiving unsolicited dick pics while you’re just trying to find someone who can actually plan a date and spell “you’re” and “your” correctly. While dating apps might seem like a quick fix, they’re really just a distraction from the real work—focusing on yourself and building a life that genuinely brings you happiness. If you absolutely must dip your toes into the dating pool, skip the swiping and try something local, like a community event, a holiday market, or even a coffee shop where you can meet someone who appreciates good company and real conversation.
4. Write Things Out
It’s okay to miss what you had—or thought you’d have. Grieve if you need to. Journal your emotions, cry it out, or vent to a friend. And if you need a little extra guidance, check out my free self-awareness journal to help you process what you’re feeling. It’s a great way to clear your head and get some clarity, even when the holiday chaos feels like too much. Feelings are like uninvited relatives—they show up unannounced, but they don’t stay forever.
5. Find the Silver Linings
Let’s face it—there are perks to being solo during the holidays. Think of it as a VIP pass to guilt-free living:
No awkward family gatherings with the in-laws or forced conversations.
Take total control of the holiday playlist—goodbye, All I Want for Christmas Is You on repeat. Instead, blast some empowering jams like Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off —anything that helps you shake off the holiday stress and feel like the badass you are.
No fighting over whose house to visit first—your couch is just fine.
Instead of mourning what’s missing, lean into what you have. Want to sleep until noon? Do it. Feel like calling Chinese takeout your Christmas dinner? That’s a perfectly valid holiday tradition.
6. Connect To Your Values
The holidays don’t have to be about stress or forced cheer. Instead, focus on what brings meaning:
Volunteer: Serving meals for the North Texas Food bank or donating to a cause can remind you of the good in humanity.
Ground Yourself: Take 10 minutes to practice mindfulness, whether through deep breathing, journaling, or my audio mindfulness resources.
Reach Out: Text a friend who gets it, or join an online support group like Sharewell. Connection doesn’t have to mean chaos.
7. Make a Survival Plan
Here’s a quick checklist to help you navigate the season:
Like, get your calendar out and make a detailed plan. Plan one thing to look forward to every week—whether it’s a solo dinner at your favorite spot, a Netflix binge, or just an afternoon with your journal. Having something to look forward to can make the holidays feel a little less overwhelming and a lot more manageable.
Set a boundary for any stressful family gatherings.
Try one indulgent self-care activity, like a massage or a guilt-free nap.
Schedule time to practice mindfulness or grounding.
That's a Wrap
The holidays often come with their fair share of stress—unsolicited advice, awkward conversations, and the pressure to buy gifts when living expenses in North Texas are already high. But remember, you have the power to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. Make time for yourself, find humor in the chaos, and focus on what helps you feel grounded. Whether it's taking a solo trip, journaling, or simply saying no to unnecessary drama, you don't have to tolerate anything that disrupts your peace. The holidays don’t need to be perfect, they just need to be your own.
Need some extra help finding calm this season? Don’t forget to check out my grounding and mindfulness audio practices—they’re quick, easy, and designed for moments like these. Whether you're looking to de-stress after a chaotic holiday gathering or simply need a break, these tools can help you stay centered and present. Take a few minutes to pause, breathe, and recharge, so you can enjoy the holidays on your own terms.
Feeling like you need someone who gets it? You don’t have to navigate the holiday chaos alone. If you're ready to make this season a little smoother, why not schedule a therapy appointment with me? I have availability in December and January, and I promise—no sugar-coating, just real talk and support.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are meant to provide a lighthearted, sarcastic take on the holiday season. Please remember to prioritize your well-being, set boundaries, and engage in self-care. If you're struggling or need someone to talk to you can contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate help.
